That’s Your Girlfriend: Helen Staudinger

“As I’ve gotten older and had more life experience, I’ve come to really appreciate older women. They have a sophistication and an elegance that younger women simply lack. It’s not younger women’s fault, they are doing the best they can, but when it comes to the romantic arts, or even just having a conversation over a bottle of wine, it’s nice to meet someone who knows what they are doing. Another great thing about older women is that they know what they want, and they aren’t afraid to go after it. This is true in all areas of their lives, from their career to their love life. It’s thrilling to see. Obviously, I’ve still got a wandering eye from time to time when a young co-ed walks into a restaurant wearing a bikini top as if that’s appropriate dinner-wear, but ultimately, as an adult who also knows what he wants and is not afraid to go after it, what I want is a 92 year old woman who aggressively demands a kiss and when she does not get one, she tries to shoot you. HOTCHA!”


Your boyfriend, Dwight Bettner, is a PRUDE. (Via Urlesque.)