Videogum

Duh Aficionado Magazine: MTV’s Skins Is Not Child Porn

Make no mistake: MTV’s Skins is terrible. It’s cheap and lame and puts the emphasis in the wrong place. Also, I’ve noticed that even after celebrating my 99th birthday this year, I still have vestigial adolescent ghost pangs whenever I hear someone on a TV show use “slang.” It all sounds like “hangin’ on the flippity-flop” to me, and it all sounds plain WRONG. But one thing that MTV’s Skins is not is cartoonish stupid annoying child porn. Duh. From the New York Times:

MTV executives have a new hit drama on their hands, featuring the sexual and drug-fueled exploits of misfit teenagers. They also have something else — a fear that coming episodes of the show may break the law.

In recent days, executives at the cable channel became concerned that some scenes from the provocative new show “Skins” may violate federal child pornography statutes. The executives ordered the producers to make changes to tone down some of the most explicit content.

Yay! Toning down some of the most explicit content means toning down the only outward “appeal” of the show. Hopefully they’ll just yank the whole thing (that is what he or she said, can’t remember) in the name of decency. Just because this show isn’t ACTUALLY child porn doesn’t mean it can’t face the same consequences for its less-easily prosecutable crimes, Al Capone going to prison for tax evasion-style. Now just what, exactly, is the part that concerns the executives? Is it the sex or the drugs or the partying? Surely it is the sex or the drugs or the partying.

Nope!

They are particularly concerned about the third episode of the series, which is to be broadcast Jan. 31. In an early version, a naked 17-year-old actor is shown from behind as he runs down a street. The actor, Jesse Carere, plays Chris, a high school student whose erection — assisted by erectile dysfunction pills — is a punch line throughout the episode.

It is a 17-year-old dude’s butt running through a city street. Good grief. I’m not sure why I have to be the one to tell the MTV executives this as they are all, to the best of my knowledge, or at least I assume, adults, but hey, MTV executives, YOU ARE DOING PORN WRONG IF YOU THINK THAT IS WHAT PORN IS. (I can understand why parents might be concerned about the overt sexual content of this show, but that doesn’t actually make it porn, and it should also be pointed out that any impressionable children who are watching this have known how to download Wet Asian Raw Dog Teens 9 onto their Nook since they were three. And any perverts who are watching this for whom Skins is somehow “enough” has plenty to work with even without some dude streaking. I’M ASSUMING JK I DON’T KNOW HOW PERVERTS WORK! Everyone, as usual, is worried about the wrong things and should go back to Worry School. CLASS IS NOW IN SESSION!)

What I’m trying to say is let’s just cancel all entertainment pandering to teenagers. Just in case!