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Kids Krump The Darndest Things

To the best of my understanding, having children is mostly miserable. When you first get one, they poop and pee everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE (thank you, ladies and germs!). Then, once they get that worked out, you have to teach them, well, basically, everything, because their stupid brains are completely empty. Once you’ve gotten that to a manageable level, that is when the children start snorting drugs and fucking each other and driving, sometimes all three at the same time, so you’ve got that to think about. Oh, and P.S. it’s all FOREVER until you DIE. (Unless they die first which is apparently EVEN WORSE.) But there must be something to it, because people definitely keep getting these things. I do think that there must be brief moments between all of blood, poop, and tears, when you look at your children and think: “I made that. I brought that into this world. And it just the absolute best.”

It helps if the children are krumping.

Ladies, is that what your ticking biological clocks sound like? Ding Dong! Who is it? IT IS THE TRUE MIRACLE OF LIFE! (Thanks for the tip, Amanda.)