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Look Like This!: Harry Potter

[Stephen K has a lifestyle blog and co-authors a fashion advice twitter that never gets updated. In this column, he will tell you how to get the hottest looks of today.]

With the penultimate Harry Potter movie set to arrive in theaters this week, anticipation for everything wizardly has grown to a fever pitch! But while the rest of the world has been waiting with bated breath counting down the minutes until this release, we’ve already finished our countdown for this week’s Look Like This star’s style release! That’s right, ladies! This week we tell you how to get that magical high fashion look of the ultimate not-a-girl, not-yet-a-witch: Emma Watson!

This tender, budding, just-ripe, so-so-tight stylista has certainly grown since she hit the scene starring as Hermoine Granger in the Harry Potter movies, as evidenced by this totally not creepy video tribute. Whether it’s bewitching us in Burberry or rocking the red carpet in Rodarte, this girl-woman has sure cast a style spell on us! Shazaam!

And we’re not the only ones to take notice. Major fashion designers such as Christopher Bailey of Burberry Prorsum and Karl Lagerfeld of Selling Rich White Women Variations on the Same Boucle Jacket Season after Season, LLC have taken her up as their muse de jour, creating custom confections for her spooktacular stylist to pick out for her to wear to photographed events inspiring more designers to give her more creations for her to wear to other events in a never-ending circle-jerk-of-the-phoenix of publicity. C’est magique!

Emma’s stylist’s look is a beguiling brew of classic sophistication, youthful exuberance, and young toad foreskin. This prettily powerful potion is exemplified by her recent red carpet showing in a drapy one-shouldered velvet and satin dress by Rodolfo Paglialunga for Vionnet. We don’t know about you, but we’re getting major witch vibes (down there, in our chamber of secrets)!

Now we know you WalMartistas might not be able to afford to hop over to Dover Street Market in London or Colette in Paris to snatch up this dress like we can, but we have a great alternative for you penny-pinchinistas! One affordably chic way to replicate a look like Emma’s at home is to shop for separate “inspired-by” pieces and put them together instead of searching for an exact copy of the dress. And don’t worry, no one will tell you to your face that it looks ridiculous and in no way comes even close to the exquisitely classic draping of the Vionnet dress. (Shhhh! Fashionista pro-tip: most people are afraid to tell even the most plainly obvious truths about their friends’ misguided sartorial choices!) This velvet bodysuit from Forever 21 is a reasonable non-rouched, non-assymetrical facsimile on the one-shouldered top-half of Emma’s dress and puts velvet right where you want it: right next to your outer labia. Pair it with this silky paper-bag waisted pleated skirt from the Gap and a great pair of heels and a great purse and some great jewelry and a great smokey eye and some great painted lips and a better top and maybe just go buy the Vionnet dress and you have an ultra chic look that will make Snape’s Snake Slither right In (but for the velvet protection spell)!

Another key aspect to Emma’s look is her new pixie cut.

When Emma cut her hair, we thought to ourselves, “Oh, Hermione! How could you? Your one beauty!” But after a little time and some intense one-on-one primal scream and role playing sessions with our hairapist, we eventually grew to accept it. Like other close-cropped-hair-ista ingenues Jean Seberg, Mia Farrow, Winona Ryder, and Janet Reno before her, Emma is blazing her own feminista trail. Her haircut dares us to re-examine our traditional cis-heteronormative gender signals in a way we’ve never done before since the last time a star with an excessively beautiful face cut her hair short as has been happening every 10 years or so since the beginning of time. And we love her for it! To get this look, you will need (1) some garden shears, (2) a ridiculously symmetrical face. But if you’re afraid to take the full plunge because you’re afraid men will no longer find you attractive and think that you look like a pre-pubescent boy (And, trust us, ladies! That is a totally justified fear!), we have the perfect solution! This affordable hairpiece will give you that Hermione Granger soigne style without having to sacrifice your sexually appealing hair. Top it off with this jaunty hat and you’re ready to take on any anti-muggle hate crime the world throws at you!

As always, we hope these tips will help you deceive other people into thinking you’re more interesting and stylish than you actually are. And relax, it’s just a glamor!