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Look Like This!: 90210

[Stephen K has a lifestyle blog and co-authors a fashion advice twitter that never gets updated. In this column, he will tell you how to get the hottest looks of today.]

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the premiere of Beverly Hills, 90210, hereinafter 90210 or ‘da 210. And with this anniversary the complete series is now available in this handsome boxset. To celebrate its release, we present a very special Look Like This wherein we’ll help you get the look of some 20 somethings playing the rich teenagers of yesterday, today! Because it’s never too late to look like someone’s idealized version of a spoiled trust fund brat who misses the SATS because of a breast cancer scare!

The style of 90210 has been lauded since it premiered 20 years ago and to this day still serves as trendspiration for teenage girl bloggers who were way too young to watch it when it actually came out and 20 and 30-somethings desperate to stay in a perpetual fugue state of when they were young and cool. One of our favorite fashion crushes, Alexa Chung, has made an entire nostalgianista career out of looking like the funky bastard landed lovechild consummated from an ultrachic threesome of Brenda Walsh, Kelly Taylor-Silver, and Emily Valentine. We covet her effortless mix-up style, just as our ancestors coveted their neighbor’s house, wife, manservant, ox, and donkey! We don’t care WHAT you say, Exodus 20:17! If we’re going to be going to hell, at least we’ll be fabulous doing it in our ultra-haute disgusting clog boots!

While Brenda, Kelly, Emily, and Dnnoa Mraitn (dyslexic) have certainly served as fashion touchstones for Alexa and these legions of fans, there’s one unsung stylista who deserves a much-deserved reevaluation. It’s time to get trendspired by that underappreciated fashionista: Andrea Zuckerman!

While she may not have Brenda’s soigne sophistication, assertive style, or audaciousness to pretend she’s French to trick a pre-Superman Dean Cain into falling for her; or Kelly’s California cool, quiet confidence, or ability to steal her best friend’s boyfriend over the summer without any hesitation; or Emily’s biker chic, rebel attitude, or familiarity with incendiaries necessary to ruin a homecoming float; or Dnnoa’s bubbly charm, guilelessness, or inability to graduate high school without a student-led protest, Andrea more than makes up for in the one thing that fashionistas value most: smug condescension and a feeling of superiority over the idiots that surround her!

Style icons like Chloe Sevigny have been employing this strategy for years! And one chic way Chloe and Andrea use to show off that superiority is by wearing outfits that are so hideously outside the realm of what regular people wear that they ooze stylish disdain for the aesthetic values and sense of decorum that the simpletons around them hold dear. The base of Ms. Zuckerman’s look are aggressively awkward dresses made from materials that don’t generally exist outside of renaissance faires. They’re usually cut in such a way as to make people recoil in disgust and shiver at the thought of touching them. This velvet one from one of our fave little indie boutiques, urbanoutfitters.com, is the perfect cocktail of awkwardness and indifference to societal norms that we think Andrea (and you!) would cherish!

Andrea also loved a sensible shoe with great arch support, the kind which an Anne Sexton-reading substitute teacher might wear. And so do we! These suede witch shoes are comfortable enough for a take-charge, hard-hitting high school newspaper editrix on the go and who’s on her feet all day, but have just enough of a heel to attract the unrequited love that would never give her the time of day in the face of more attractive, sexually adventurous options. At just $198, these terrible shoes are DEFINITELY investment-worthy!

Andrea, like all of us (Ladies!), loves a great bag, but needs something that will carry everything she needs for the day from the poor side of town to West Beverly. This antiqued leather backpack is just what the back doctor ordered! It’s big enough to carry all of her books and extra pairs of nude pantyhose but fabulous enough for that late night at the Peach Pit After Dark that no one will invite her to. And you’ll need those books if you’ll want to use your smarts to climb your way out of poverty into a good college just to see your talent and hardwork obliterated when you get knocked up by a poor hispanic caterer and forced to drop out of school!

Finally, no talk of Andrea’s style could be complete without taking into account her daring eyewear!

Her retro shades are so integral to her style, that we’d be remiss not to mention them! Now consider them mentioned and the talk of Andrea’s style complete!

We hope these tips have been helpful to get you that Andrea Zuckerman look you’ve always dreamed of, but never knew you wanted! Hopefully the next time you consider someone a style icon, you’ll learn to speak up and not force us to tell you who you should look up to! Until then…