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Gwyneth Paltrow To Perform At CMA Awards In An Attempt To Appeal To No One

For those of you who weren’t planning to watch the Country Music Association’s awards show next month, you now have one more major reason to keep not planning to have anything to do with it. From the AP:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Actress Gwyneth Paltrow will be taking the stage at next month’s Country Music Association Awards — as a performer.

She’ll sing the title track of her new movie, “Country Strong,” and will be joined by Vince Gill.

Nope! Double still nope. I’m sure it’s going to go great, though. If there is one thing that real fans of country music like, it is Hollywood dynasty children who live in England and weigh things in “stone.” If there’s one thing that says “I’m not a witch, I’m you,” it’s a multi-millionaire who named her child APPLE and decided between Iron Mans to start a newsletter about mid-century bathroom fixture and juice fasts. YEE-HAW, AND CETRA. I seriously hope that when this happens it is basically this. Let’s get her! (Thanks for the tip, Viv.)