We Should Buy More Divorces, You Guys

Nice. I can’t wait to meet that special someone and get trapped in a poisonous nightmare of a toxic marriage to a wicked hell beast (female) just so that I can use this guy’s services. He seems very legitimate. Hopefully, when it DOES finally happen for me, we’ll spend at least 40 horrible years together first so that when we finally shoot our marriage in the face, we’ll both be so old and chronically miserable that we just give up and fucking die. I sure hope Steven Miller accepts wifi-enabled hover-credit! Just kidding, the world will be covered in water by then anyway. I’ll pay him with an old film canister full of matches that may or may not still light. (Via Neatorama.)