Mad Men S04E03: New Year’s Eve You Get To Stay Up To Midnight

[This week’s episode of Mad Men has been recapped by Benji Meyer, a 10-year-old who lives with his parents in Ohio.]

Yesterday we went to the park. It was pretty good. We played soccer and had veggie hot dogs and pop. But then when we got home I wanted to play Sims on the computer and dad said I couldn’t play Sims because I had to finish my homework and I said I could finish my homework after I played some Sims and he said no because after I finished my homework it would be time to watch the show and I said what show and he said the show about adults at work and I got sad because I forgot I had to watch that show and I don’t like that show. I wish I could have played Sims yesterday. I could have played Sims and then done my homework and I would rather do my homework anyway than watch this show about adults. But dad says to say about how the show starts in a very funny doctor’s office. I don’t know what’s so funny about it. I didn’t laugh and mom and dad weren’t laughing and dad says he doesn’t mean funny like haha but then he didn’t say what he meant like what kind of funny he meant. The redhead lady is in there and it’s really confusing, but the doctor says she isn’t sick, which is good. It’s sad when people get sick and go to the hospital and never get to leave the hospital, like with grandma and Uncle Ron.Everyone is talking about New Year’s Eve. This show is so weird and dumb. Last week it was Christmas and this week it is New Year’s Eve, but outside it’s like 100 degrees and the ice cream truck still comes around. It just seems like a lot more people would watch this show if it was about something that makes sense, like fourth of July or something. Or it could be about Christmas, but then they should show it at Christmas, because that’s when everyone is excited about Christmas. The guy Don is going to go to Acapulco, which is in Mexico. One time, me and my mom and dad and sister Lucy went on a cruiseship that went near Mexico. You had to go to Miami to get on the cruiseship and then it sailed all through the ocean. One day we were on the ship and they said if you look to the right you can see Mexico, so I’ve seen it. The redhead wants vacation but the English guy won’t let her have vacation, but he’s taking vacation. They get in a fight. Then he sends her flowers I think and they get in another fight. They fight a lot. Mom and dad used to fight a lot but they don’t fight as much anymore but when I was 7 they did and mom lived in a hotel and they had a pool that went inside half AND half outside!

Don goes to California and sees this lady who’s wearing a cast on her leg like the cast Tony Perez wore in Kindergarten after he tripped on the edge of the sandbox when we were chasing him for freeze tag and he was out of school for probably a whole week and everyone gave him candy and balloons and cards and presents and everyone wished they had been the ones who tripped on the edge of the sandbox and broke their leg. They go out dancing and Don dances with this other lady and my mom said it was gross and that Don was gross and my dad said that it wasn’t like she didn’t have her own things she did in college that neither of them wanted to say out loud but that she got real quiet and said that it was still gross. Don tries to kiss that girl to make them boyfriend and girlfriend but then she tells him that the other lady is sick with the cancer and so Don sits on the couch and then paints her living room and then gets sad. Another lady tells him to mind his own beeswax and mom and dad talked a lot about what was the right thing to do but I wasn’t really paying attention because when they talk to each other it’s always so boring unless they are fighting but then I hate it. Don rides on a funny looking airplane. Mom and dad said that’s how airplanes used to look and that everything used to look different. Then they said that one day everything that we have now would look as silly to people in the future as that airplane looks, but I don’t know if I believe her, because the new iPods are pretty cool looking and I will probably always think that and one day I am going to save up and get one.

The redhead lady cuts her hand and this guy gives her stitches right at the kitchen table. He distracts her and gives her a shot and says that that is what he does with kids, but I think he’s lying, because when I get a shot I don’t have to look away, I look right where’s it’s going in and I’m not even scared, everyone says how impressed they are with how not scared I am.

Don and the British guy are the only ones in the office and they drink a bunch of juice and take naps just like we used to do in Kindergarten and pre-school and they would give us graham crackers and juice and then make us take naps on cots. Hahaha. They are just like in kindergarten and pre-school! I’m in fifth grade and we do NOT take naps anymore because naps are for little kids and babies. Sometimes we do have snacks, though. They go out to a movie and then to a steak dinner and then they go to a comedy show but I don’t get any of the jokes and I don’t know who the comedian even is. It’s not Steve Martin or Dane Cook or anybody. Then they hang out with some girls and they go to Don’s apartment and drink a bunch of juice and the girls kiss them so they’re boyfriends and girlfriends now. In the morning, the girls have gone back to their houses but the British guy had a sleep over, and he gives Don 25 dollars. I almost have 25 dollars. Last fall I raked a bunch of lawns like almost all of the lawns in our neighborhood and everyone would give me five dollars, but then I spent some of it at GameStop, but then some of it mom and dad said to put in a jar and I did and it’ still in there and I even put 10 more dollars in there at Christmas and there’s more than 20 dollars in there now. There’s 22 dollars and 83 cents in there.

Then they have a meeting. The end.