Jersey Shore S02E02: What’s A M*****?!

In the run-up to season 2, I had thought things could get interesting when the now-famous cast were forced to confront that fame in some way. But, for better or for worse, the show has not even acknowledged it. Maybe everyone is a little more cocksure (if that’s even possible) and you definitely notice civilians standing in the background gawking and taking photos whenever the cast leaves the house. But there’s no conversation or realization about the crazy and unexpected transformation that has taken place in all of their lives (except maybe for Vinny and Angelina). Instead, everyone is struggling with the sudden and unexpected transformation of how their friendships have changed since the last time they lived together, and no offense to them and their human emotions, but who gives an F?! Sammi, Ronnie, NO ONE CARES. You guys should have a potato sack race into the ocean. It is a mark of how boring this season is that they squeezed a solid 10 minutes last night out of a pan of chicken falling on the ground. At one point, we finally moved on from the chicken mess in the kitchen, ONLY TO COME BACK TO IT AGAIN LATER. Enough with the chicken on the ground! Enough with everything on this season. The whole “T-shirt Time” speech seemed like a caricature of their former selves. Also, were the guys on this show always such gossip hens? Cluck cluck cluck, with those guys! I do like that JWOWW’s best friends are named J-420 and Joey Yanks, because those are the names of my best friends, too. Small world. And Gelato Shop is the new T-Shirt Shop. Write it down. But I think MTV has made a terrible mistake putting the second season in Miami. In addition to being boring, it’s contextually discombobulated. If I wanted to watch a show about jerks taking a vacation, I would have watched Spain: On The Road Again.