The Mel Gibson Audio Rant Mini-Series, Episode Three

Remember back in late April or early May when day after day they kept increasing the estimates of how much oil was spewing from the hole in the ocean, and at a certain point you were like, “Holy Shit, that is so much oil. It is basically the most oil,” and then right around the same time you realized that, you also realized that there was no real hope of anyone STOPPING the oil any time soon, and it started to seem like at a certain point in the not so distant future, the ocean itself would just be thick, black, waveless sludge covering the earth, dotted with dead animals. And then Cillian Murphy would have to fly the Icarus II into the sun, or whatever.

This Mel Gibson scandal is basically the “human” (more like human garbage, am I right?) version of the BP oil spill. WHEN WILL IT END? AND AT WHAT COST? The Mel Gibson scandal, like the BP oil spill, is a demonstration of mankind’s rampant greed and callous disregard. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that if Mel Gibson’s audio rants get into the loop current, we will see the near extinction of most shellfish. Just how much hatred is inside that thing? Unfortunately, the relief wells being dug into Mel Gibson’s heart won’t be done until August, and every attempt to cut off the broken riser pipe that is is face with a diamond-tipped saw has failed. WE’RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER DIAMOND-TIPPED SAW!

The third leaked tape of Mel Gibson being just one of the worst people you have ever heard in your entire life, after the jump:

I know God don’t make no junk, but he kind of made some junk. (Via Dlisted.)