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Old Man Dances To Lady Gaga To Teach Us All About Life

A lot of young people these days don’t have what it TAKES. As a 57-year-old man, I am telling you, the road ahead is long and bumpy and you’re bound to break an axle or two while fording the river, and half of your traveling companions will contract cholera, and at some point you will sell your daughter to savages for a bolt of cloth. That is just what life is like. You can’t stop it, and it’s no use denying it. But if you’re lucky, and that is a big IF, but if you are lucky, one night in the distant future, your body full of puncture wounds from the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune, you will drag that old bag of bones into the middle of the dance floor of some space bar by the side of the galaxy, and when a popular song comes on the hover-stereo, or the community brain chip signal, or whatever, you will dance to that song like there isn’t nothing in this world that could ever slow you down. You will dance ridiculously and hilariously, yes, but with a relentless energy that will make your younger counterparts look sluggish and stupid. You will dance to that song with such abandon, with such a thirst for life that others will be EMBARRASSED. “Look at that old man dance,” the people will say. “We are doing it all wrong.”

Like I said, this happens only if you’re lucky. Most likely, you are dead long before this happens. From dysentery. (Thanks for the tip, Chris.)