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Jeremy London’s Wife Kidnapped!

Remember when Jeremy London was kidnapped and everything about it was insane? Well, holy cow, it is somehow getting SO MUCH WEIRDER! From the HuffingtonPost:

The story Melissa and Jeremy told police is that they had gone out to eat at the Jack-in-the-Box and come out to find a flat tire. Two men helped them change it, and Jeremy offered to give them a ride home. For some reason Melissa felt uncomfortable in the car, and the men allowed Jeremy to drop her at home before taking him on a ride of terror, forcing him to do drugs at gun point.

Jeremy claims that the kidnappers told him, “Hit this! Hit this or I’m gonna kill you!” while holding a gun to his head and forcing him to smoke some sort of drug.

Melissa addressed the doubters, citing a new wave of crime.

“I just hope this never happens to them,” she told. “Police told us this is the new thing to do down here… rob people at gunpoint and make them do drugs so they won’t be reliable witnesses. It’s happening more and more. I can tell you that Jeremy was scared for his life. He’s still scared.”

Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait. So now, Jeremy London AND his wife were kidnapped? But the kidnappers allowed her to go home because she felt uncomfortable (“for some reason”)? Classic kidnapper stuff. The thing about gun-toting criminals who kidnap and force their victims to smoke crack is that they are almost TOO considerate. This story is only suspicious because it’s so airtight that it seems impossible. “Everything you are saying makes sense, and that’s what worries me.”

Oh, and P.S. surprise, ding dong, both Jeremy London and his wife Melissa have SERIOUS DRUG PROBLEMS:

Jeremy and Melissa have a 3-year-old son, Lyrik. They are in the process of divorcing and Jeremy must undergo regular drug testing because of a custody issue, so his story of doing drugs under duress is even more suspect. Both parents have lost custody because of drug use and Melissa’s mother has been raising Lyrik.

Jeremy has also claimed that the kidnappers threatened to go after his son.

“I’m so scared to press charges,” he wrote on his Facebook page last week. “They kept saying they knew where my son lived and they’s (sic) strait (sic) for him first.”

You know, if I was ever kidnapped and forced to smoke crack at gunpoint (LOL every time) and had my tragic story turned into tabloid gossip in the midst of my divorce proceedings, in light of my horrific ordeal and the on-going nightmare of trying to find justice in this world, the moment that my son’s safety and well-being was put at risk is definitely the moment I would UPDATE MY FACEBOOK PAGE. Celebrities. They are just like us.