50 Cent Caught A Bad Case Of The Machinist Fever!

You guys, I’m worried about 50 Cent. I think something is wrong with 50 Cent. IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE BLOG? Look at him! This is one of the worst cases of The Machinist Fever that I have seen since The Machinist. I sure hope this is just because he went on a liquid diet to prepare for the role of a football player diagnosed with cancer in a movie that he wrote himself. From

50 Cent lost a lot of weight for his upcoming movie “Things Fall Apart”. In the movie 50 Cent plays a football player diagnosed with cancer. He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 with a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks.

“I was starving.” Now he’s back on tour and says, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time!”

Oh PHEW. It just happens to turn out that the one reasonable explanation for what is going on here happens to be the right one. I believe it’s called “Occam’s Explanation.” Also, haha, eating. Right. “One steroid sandwich please. With human-growth-hormone-and-wasabi mayo.”

Another picture of 50 Cent looking very sick after the jump:

Yikes. GET WELL SOON, 50 CENT! Maybe you should stop writing movie roles for yourself in which you have cancer. Or better yet, maybe you should stop writing movie roles. (Thanks for the tip, bird.)