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“The Coolest You’ll Look Pooping Your Pants”

I don’t have children, despite being well into my 60s. So I can’t imagine what the various pressures and stresses are for a modern parent. I’m sure it’s really hard, or whatever. And I know that sometimes parents need to vent and blow off steam in order to cope with the enormous responsibility of nurturing a human life. Sometimes they hire a babysitter and go out to a booze-soaked dinner with friends. Sometimes they buy a leather jacket and grow sideburns in an attempt to recapture some shred of the youth that seems to have fled them completely. Sometimes they even yell at their children, in a way that makes other people on the street think they are bad parents when they might actually be really good parents but they just happen to have been caught in a perfect storm of fatigue and frustration and despair. What I’m saying is that however a parent manages to keep their sanity while still instilling in that tiny human being that they made with their genitals a sense that he or she is loved and can look forward to a long life filled with wonder and possibilities, be it through alcohol, inappropriately youthful clothing, screaming, or hobbies, it is all fair game. I get it.

But if you buy your kid “limited edition” denim-patterned fashion diapers, you’re a fucking asshole.

Looking good, Mr. Cool Diapers. (Thanks for the tip, Gideon.)