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That’s Your Girlfriend: Criminal Minds Finale Fan

“I’m sorry you had to see her like this. For the most part she’s actually a real sweetheart. We usually just keep to ourselves and smoke menthol cigarettes on our mold-infested porch and scream at the neighborhood children. Then we retire to the boudoir and make Michelob Ice-fueled love all night long and into the morning. But even I, her soul mate, know that when Criminal Minds is on, just get out of the way. She’s like a different person! A different person that I still love very much and am glad to be in a serious and committed relationship with.”
–You

(Via Dlisted.)