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I’m Worried About Beyonce, You Guys

Beyonce’s new music video, “Why Don’t You Love Me?”:


First there was “Ring the Alarm,” and then there was “Irreplaceable,” and now “Why Don’t You Love Me?” You guys, I am worried about Beyonce! She has some very low self-esteem, some very high abandonment issues, and a very yikes persecution complex. This guy knows what I’m talking about:

You need some help, gurrrrrl!

And this guy knows what that guy’s talking about:

Sigmund Freud is right, gurrrrrrrrrl!

AND THIS GUY KNOWS WHAT EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT:

I’m Dr. Giggles.

I’m sure that being super-rich, super-famous, and super-married to Jay-Z comes with its own set of problems, but how many cries for help have to hit #1 on the Billboard R&B charts before she realizes she can’t do this on her own?! It’s called the talking cure, Beyonce, not the HIT SINGLES CURE. (Oof. Put me to sleep, doctors.)