The Better Marriage Blanket Might Actually Be Real

From the website:

Almost everyone knows the silent but deadly effects of flatulence on relationships. For couples, nothing can spoil the romantic aura more quickly! It can be funny but it can also be a nuisance.

Haha. IT CAN BE FUNNY BUT IT CAN ALSO BE A NUISANCE. Fair enough. And they do have a point that farting can ruin a romantic mood, although I’m not sure that an over-priced novelty fart blanket made with REAL MILITARY STUFF INSIDE that you ordered off an infomercial for THREE payments of $39.99 is that much SEXIER. Also, some of the site’s suggestions for when/whom to buy this thing are a bit much:

  • Weddings (Oh, thank you!)
  • Anniversaries (You remembered!)
  • Birthdays (Thank you?)
  • Roommates (Hey!)
  • A Humorous Occasion (You literally shouldn’t have!)

I do not know about the people who invented the Better Marriage Blanket (military scientists probably) but I don’t give gag gifts that require three easy payments of ANY size. And if your roommate gives this to you, move out, but make sure to lock the door behind you and burn the place to the ground. Happy birthday, you fart.

I hate this blanket!


(Thanks for the tip, Tammy, WomenBePhotoshoppin’, Ben, and Nik.)