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Dick Van Dyke Opens A New Front In The War On Fake Rap

Since we launched our offensive on Fake Rap, the response has been overwhelming. More than 189 people have found the courage to stand up and say “No more fake rap, please!” But there are still a few people in the world, maybe even a few among you (MAYBE), who have yet to rally to our cause. Fair enough. Perhaps our arguments have not moved you. Perhaps tracing the history of fake rap is not enough. Perhaps showing the ways in which it has been used to abuse low-level employees at menial service industry jobs is not enough. Personally, I don’t know what more convincing you would need than to simply see for yourself how fake rap, which is a miserable, depressing, unfunny, insidiously racist garbage form of condescending ear poison, has become a popular advertising tool (selling what? Suicide guns?). Or how it has now become an international nightmare.

Well today, with the help of Dick Van Dyke, we try to convince you once more, by asking this simple question: DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT THE WELL-BEING OF CHILDREN?

Dick Van Dyke, along with Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and children’s music musician Leslie Bixler is releasing a children’s album on which he raps. Bear in mind: this is for the young developing minds of children who might not even realize they have the power to turn something off or ask an adult to “make it stop”:

Fake rap, of course, is a common structure for children’s music, because adults think that children like anything that rhymes, and they also believe, at least the racist ones, that the genre of rap is practically children’s music anyway, and so they force fake rap upon the people least capable of defending themselves. Of course, we all suffer the consequences, as new generations are raised to believe that fake rap is acceptable, when in fact it is UNACCEPTABLE.

I urge you, please, sign today. SAVE A CHILD’S LIFE, PROBABLY! ( Via Vulture.)