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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

I think I have said enough for one year. So let’s just get to this. After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of this week’s Sean Hannity Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 werttrew | Apr 5th Score:108

Dear Videogum Staff: I once again nominate the 2009 film Amelia, the biopic about aviatrix Amelia Earhart starring Hilary Swank and Richard Gere, for The Worst Movie of All Time. This is a truly awful film.

The following gif serves well as a metaphor for my viewing experience of this film.

The film begins and its horribleness is soon readily apparent. But I am stuck in the theater with a date!! What can I do??

I seek to mentally flee the film. I close my eyes and run, run to a happy place to escape the terribleness of the film, but I couldn’t run fast enough, fast enough. I COULDN’T RUN FAST ENOUGH.

So BAM, the film knocks me into a puddle of suck. Richard Gere is a disaster, Hilary Swank is wearing fake teeth and a bad wig! The plot makes no sense!

I valiantly struggle to my feet, woozy, ready to flee again and from the other direction the dastardly film returns to knock me BAM into a puddle of suck again! Argh, director Mira Nair! Why must you be such a bad director?? HAVE YOU NO MERCY??? No you don’t. No you do not.

I shall be here next week and every week with a similar message till this film’s inclusion is secure. Good day and thank you for your time.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Down To You
#4 Notsewfast | Apr 6th Score:114

Bummers Eve is the brand of douches preferred by emo chicks.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Sean Hannity Is A Feminine Hygiene Product
#3 That One | Apr 6th Score:118

Nicholas Sparks picks up a Sweet Romance scented douche by Summer’s Eve, “This is what I am”, he says, placing the douche back on the shelf. “This is what I am”.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Sean Hannity Is A Feminine Hygiene Product
#1 Notsewfast | Apr 5th Score:169

A rare example of a film whose porn parody was not only more entertaining, but more well written and acted.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Down To You

Ed. note: so, Notsewfast and Steve Winwood aren’t allowed to be in the same room together, right? Because their polarizing powers of vote accumulation would rip the fabric of existence to shreds? BE CAREFUL!

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Godsauce | Apr 6th Score:-105
You’re thinking of Steve Winwood and fourth week. It’s only Tuesday and he already almost has a lock on it at this point.

Actually, everybody downvote this comment. Let’s all try and help Steve out!

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Sean Hannity Is A Feminine Hygiene Product

Ed. note: well played everyone. You managed to contain Steve Winwood to just the second and third lowest comments of the week. Sad news for Steve’s attempts to shoot the moon and get all the downvotes, but that is how games are played.

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Ed. note: See above. Winners all over the place.

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

lizzing | Apr 8th Score:36

ellen degeneres and bill brasky compete against each other in an annual drinking contest.

Posted in: Ellen DeGeneres Fun Facts

Ed. note: if I could, I would award the entire Ellen DeGeneres Fun Facts thread, but I did that last week, and these rules are real and exist and have to be taken seriously. So, good work, lizzing, one might even say great work, but everyone who commented on that thread should know that it was only because of make-believe rules that I made up myself and am under absolutely no actual obligation to follow that kept you from being the winner.