Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Spring has sprang you guys! Oh man, I do not know where you are right now (we really need a buddy system), but where I am it is so nice outside. Nice weather of course makes it increasingly difficult to pay attention to Lindsay Lohan’s shoe powder malfunctions and breaking news from behind the scenes of the Get Him to the Greek publicity junket planning committee (what day do Jonah and Russell talk to Access Hollywood?!), but we are all going to do our best. Let’s just enjoy this weekend out there in the sunshine and the temperate air, because Monday morning it will be back to work! GET INTO THE TRAMPOLINE MINES! (Is what the boss will be saying on Monday.) For now, sweet freedom.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of this week’s Barack Obama Looks at a Hover Board Caption Contest and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Patrick M | Mar 26th Score:110

Stuff like this needs to be posted about every four weeks for three or four days.

Posted in: An Educational Film From The 1960s Teaching Young Girls With Down Syndrome About Their Menstrual Cycles
#4 Jeff | Mar 31st Score:113

This guy should take a long Walk to Remember off a short cliff.

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Nicholas Sparks Is A Jerk AND An Idiot
#3 shellbomber | Mar 30th Score:119

“I went to Yale.” –you

Posted in: Relax, James Franco
#2 Jeb | Mar 31st Score:125

Please resurrect me so I can kill myself again.

-Hemingway

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Nicholas Sparks Is A Jerk AND An Idiot
#1 I Like A Skinny Tie | Mar 31st Score:130

This guy listens to Nickelback. I just know it.

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Nicholas Sparks Is A Jerk AND An Idiot

Ed. note: This week’s comments were better written than anything Nicholas Sparks has produced in his entire self-satisfied, completely delusional life. We don’t have millions of dollars or Miley Cyrus’s phone number in our phones, but we have our integrity and our clear-eyed perspective on the world around us. And we have each other!

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Steve Winwood | Mar 31st Score:-41
The Topher sucking butts is not your commentator meme so stop it. There is only one who can exploit the comedy value of that commentator meme and you know of whom I speak, bro.
Posted in: Lost S06E11: Don’t Tase Jin, Bro!

Ed. note: Oh, Steve Winwood. SHOOT THE MOON! How many weeks in a row have you gotten Lowest Rated? All? All of the weeks in a row? To be fair to you (sort of?) I don’t actually think this was your worst comment of the week. Not sure why this one came out on bottom. Nevertheless, Steve Winwood, I would like you to know that despite your chronic unpopularity and your tendency to aggressively seek out downvotes, I still appreciate your contribution to the Videogum community. I am the Robin Williams to your Good Will Hunting in that one scene where he cured him with a hug or whatever.

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

west | Mar 30th Score:155

“This is a big fucking deal.”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Barack Obama Looks At A Hoverboard

Ed. note: Congratulations, west. You earned it!

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Ed. note: For this week’s Editor’s Choice, I am breaking all the rules (NO RULES!) and awarding the entire Nicholas Sparks Is a Jerk AND an Idiot thread. Some people got personal recognition above, but you guys all really outdid yourselves over there. Seriously, very fun stuff. My only concern is that now that thread is going to die in a “swimming accident” because I love it so much.