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Stay Safe Out There, You Guys!

It’s a dangerous world. You should definitely carry around a rolled up coupon circular. Better yet, carry around two rolled up coupon circulars.

This video demonstrates one of my favorite aspects of martial arts instruction, which is the suggestion that anything can be a weapon. “A board with a nail in the end of it is a weapon. A potato with a razor blade sticking out of it is a weapon. A bike chain with an uzi welded to it spraying bullets as you swing it over your head is a weapon.” We’re all heading towards the Great Bonkers Street War of 201976, so we need to be prepared! To be fair to this sensei, I do believe that shoving the blunt end of a rolled up coupon circular into a dude’s butt (or whatever) could be painful, but the final thwack he gives him on the shoulder with the rolled up coupon circular is just annoying. “And another thing, young man!” That is what you have to say to channel your energy, or ki, for that devastating (not devastating) final blow (final blow!). But the best part is YOU CAN READ THE COUPON CIRCULAR WHILE YOU WAIT PATIENTLY TO BE ATTACKED! (Via Buzzfeed.)