Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

In a recent interview with NBC executive Jeff Gaspin about the late night wars thing, Gaspin said (basically) that he expected the Conan/Leno fiasco to blow over very quickly once the dust settled in March, and that for as much as people enjoyed and were riled up by explosive feuds, their patience for and memory of them was very short. That’s probably true. Although I will say that for as awful as Leno used to be as the host of the Tonight Show, he was never actually villainous, as he kind of is now. Who knows what the end result of this whole thing will be. Leno is already 97 years old, so it’s not like NBC is thinking so smart about the long-term. But to Jeff Gaspin’s point, everything does eventually blow over (remember how mad people got about Pearl Harbor?!), and when the dust settles, it settles on the top, burying what came before, and turning it into coal and oil. Congratulations, you just graduated from Science College. But if you dig deep enough, nothing stays buried forever, time is a man-made invention, and everything exists at all times in all directions forever. (That’s what Jeff Gaspin meant, right?) (OH LOOK, I SOUND SO HIGH RIGHT NOW.)

Prove to yourself that you were here after the jump with the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments


I am a doctor who lives in Los Angeles. I recently met a man who claimed that he was an angel. He said that he wanted to be with me so bad that he wanted to become human just to be with me. I do not understand why I only see him some of the time and that no one else can see him. He recently claimed to now be a human after jumping off of a building and we then made love. I am so confused about what is real and what is not. Take your time to respond, as I plan on riding my bike for several hours today.

Posted by: tiredandwired in response to Best New Party Game 14
Score = 54


I have a soul!

Posted by: Josh Is Wrong. in response to Gingers Do Have Souls, Claims This Ginger
Score = 57


Hi guys, I’m your intern.

Posted by: Lauren in response to Monster’s Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Score = 61


“It’s Britney, WANKER!”

–Britney Spears, Esquire

Posted by: inglorious basTURD in response to That’s Your Girlfriend: Britney Spears
Score = 64


Actual 2010 Hoverpaper:

Posted by: dance contest winner in response to Monster’s Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Score = 66

[Ed. note: I feel like you guys were kind of quiet this week. But at least when you did talk you had something to say. Lots of good threads this week, and I would argue one of the best Best New Party Games in the history of parties and games. It is also nice to see that Intern Lauren’s comment got upvoted as a pleasant effort to congratulate and welcome her. You have been raised well. In your caves and test tubes.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment


My name is Walter Kovacs, im a vigilante who lives by his own rules. The son of an abusive mother, Sylvia Joanna Kovacs, who had lived most her life as a prostitute, grew up not knowing his father but fantasized that he was U.S. President Truman.

In 1951,I was removed from his mother’s care and put into a home for problem children after i attacked two older boys who were bullying me, partially blinding one with a lit cigarette. During my stay in the children’s home, i was found to be a bright child who excelled in literature, boxing and gymnastics. Once i moved out of foster care, Kovacs got a job in the garment district where i stumbled upon a specialized synthetic fabric, which later transformed into the inkblot mask i wear for my crime-fighting alter ego.

As the vigilante crime fighter Rorschach, I am a notorious nemesis of New York criminals and police officers. He is ruthless, extremely strong, a master at picking locks and known to use improvised weapons such as a hairspray can and a lighter. At each crime scene Rorschach leaves a piece of paper with an inkblot that when folded in half becomes a smeared pattern

After my investigation into the death of a costumed hero, i am framed for murder, ap-prehended by police and imprisoned. I escape with the help of Nite Owl II and Silk Spectre II, and together they investigate his theory that someone is out to kill and dis-credit all past and present superheroes.In other words how do i save the world before promm!!!

Posted by: Muse Sesay in response to Best New Party Game 14
Score = -25

[Ed. note: I have absolutely no idea why this is the lowest rated comment this week. It is a perfectly decent and funny comment that follows the rules of the Best New Party Game for which it is a submission. A rare miss, monsters. A rare miss.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice


Not gonna front. Straight up love this stupid song. I know all the words (in ORDER) and I have every re-mix.

Posted by: underweareyes in response to The Truth Is We All Want To Be At A Miley Cyrus Dance Party

[Ed. note: I think it’s time that we all realized that fronting helps no one. Be yourself! There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure, either you like something or you don’t. That being said, EVERY REMIX? I mean, I love “Party in the USA” as much as the next hardcore kid, but every remix is almost always too many remixes. Oh well. We should all be so lucky as to find so many remixes that make us happy in this world.]