TLC is premiering a new show next Monday, December 21st, called Little Chocolatiers. It is about Hatch and Katie Masterson, who own their own chocolate shop in Salt Lake City. Sure. It’s literally a show about Oompa Loompas, no offense to Hatch or Katie Masterson, or to any actual Oompa Loompas. But that is clearly what this show is appealing to. “Did you ever think it was weird that the Oompa Loompas spent so much time singing and so little time actually making candy? When did they get their work done? Watch and find out!” I’m sure that it was only a matter of time before this show existed. It just makes sense. It’s like the old parable says: if you gave a thousand monkeys a thousand typewriters they would eventually greenlight this show.
But I think TLC is kind of rubbing salt in the (tiny, tiny) wounds with this description of the premiere episode:
Can two little people who own a chocolate shop produce 600 chocolate dice for a casino night party? And how will they build a life-sized, all chocolate flower garden for a couple’s fifth anniversary complete a project that’s bigger than they are?
600 dice?! Can they do it? Remember how little they are before you answer! “Can two little people trapped under a giant bell made out of chocolate eat their way out? Or will they get too full because their stomachs are in proportion to their bodies and their bodies, you will remember, are extremely small? And just who put them under that special bell?!” Sorry that I just SPOILERed episode two.
Shame on you, TLC. Shame on you for making a show that I am so obviously going to be watching.
I wonder if the episodes will be shorter than an average TV show. DO YOU GET IT? PLEASE TELL ME WHETHER OR NOT YOU GET IT! (Thanks for the tip, Whitney. Image via Eat Me Daily.)