Footage Of What Actually Happened During The Tiger Woods Car Crash!

Now, I don’t speak Chinese, but I think that what happened is pretty clear. Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren, both entered the neural net in an attempt to become pure energy and make all of the phones in the world ring at once. When that failed, Tiger crashed his CGI Grand Theft Auto car into a Matrix tree, and now he and his wife are starring in Veggie Tales 4: Golfing with God. MYSTERY SOLVED. (Thanks for the tip, Adriane.)