What To Get For The Jew Who Has Everything/Cancer

I’m not sure what is going on here, but I am sure that it makes me deeply uncomfortable.

I’m not saying that getting a prostate exam isn’t important, it is important, and if it really is the thought that counts then what better thought than “I hope that you are not super sick and about to die.” But also that is not a gift, CBS. I’m not sure who told you that was a gift, but it’s not a gift. A book is a gift. An XBOX 360 is a gift. A gift card is a gift. This is a routine medical exam. I’m also pretty sure that only suggesting this as a HANNUKAH gift is somehow really offensive. “Obviously, Christians will be giving each other real gifts this year, but look out, Jews!” Yikes. This guy knows what you’re talking about.

Oh, and in the event that you’re trying to find the perfect gift for a Jewish woman, CBS has got you covered:

“Oh, you shouldn’t have. Literally. You should not have done this. I will get my own pap smears, thanks. I hope that at the very least you also got me a real present, because obviously this is gross AND insufficient.” (Thanks for the tip, chasgoose.)