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Keanu Reeves = Charlemagne (Because: Logic)

It’s Monday morning, I haven’t even had breakfast, and already my mind is blown? So it’s going to be one of THOSE weeks. It’s probably a good thing, though, that I haven’t eaten anything yet today, you know? This is news that’s better heard on an empty stomach. I mean, sure, the first two side-by-side pictures depicting Keanu Reeves’s age-defying youthfulness could literally have been taken within 30 seconds of each other. There is no fact-checking department for Hilarious Homemade YouTube Videos About Famous Vampires. And, OK, that oil painting of Paul Mounet (because of how oil paintings are even better evidence than google image searches) doesn’t even look like Keanu Reeves? But the point is that I am just being a naive sheep on his way to the slaughterhouse for my ignorance in the face of the Logical Truth because if Duh then Yup.

Keanu Reeves is also: Euripides, J. Robert Oppenheimer, and Eleanor Roosevelt. HELLO? Wake up! (Thanks for the tip, Elaine.)