Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

I’m going to keep saying this throughout the post, which I know because I already wrote my little notes for the Ball and saved this intro until the end, but you guys really BROUGHT IT this week. Clear eyes, full hearts, GREAT COMMENTS. Just excellent work all around. It was kind of like that awful-looking trailer for that new Sandra Bullock Lifetime movie, The Blind Side. “This blog is your family, Monsters. When you comment to him, you comment to me. Are you going to comment your family, Monsters.” Hmm, that kind of fell apart at the end. And I’m sorry to tarnish this genuinely nice moment with a reference to what looks like the worst movie since The Family Stone.

Anyway, let’s just get to it. It’s your time to shine! After the jump, the five Highest Rated Comments of the week, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated Comment of the week, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments


I feel the need for speed, to speed away from these gay people!

Posted by: oh. in response to Tom Cruise Can’t Catch A Break. Good.
Score = 60


“I want the truth!”

“You can’t handle the truth because it involves gay people!”

Posted by: kiss the pan in response to Tom Cruise Can’t Catch A Break. Good.
Score = 60


Spooky, scary. Boys becoming men; men becoming wolves.

Posted by: Godsauce in response to Videogum’s Teen Korner: Werewolves Are The New Vampires Are The Cutest!
Score = 60


“You had me at ‘Hello, I am a heterosexual and not at all gay’.”

Posted by: tkc in response to Tom Cruise Can’t Catch A Break. Good.
Score = 63


She was terrible at Mario. You see her completely ignore that dragon coin? I mean five of those and that’s an extra man. What are you Joe Rockefeller with plenty of extra lives to throw around? This is a recession and extra lives are scarce.

Posted by: hlebtastic in response to That’s Your Wedding Proposal: Super Mario World Proposal
Score = 81

[Ed. note: everyone really brought it this week. Good work, everyone. Many of the comments in the Top 5 would have been up for consideration for the Editor’s Choice if they weren’t already rewarded here, by a jury of their peers. If I could (as if I can’t? There are no rules to this, but let’s pretend) I would give the entire Tom Cruise thread the Editor’s Choice this week. But I can’t. Because rules that don’t exist are still rules. Nevertheless, WELL PLAYED, TEAM.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment


movie sucked. made by adults trying desperately to remember what it’s like to be a kid, but having no clue.

Posted by: rat in response to The Videogum Movie Club: Where The Wild Things Are
Score = -29

[Ed. note: I am surprised that this is the lowest rated comment of the week. It seems like a completely valid opinion to have of Where the Wild Things Are. Perhaps it is a little too brusque. And there’s also the fact that it’s never that fun when someone comes out of nowhere, drops their little comment turd in the dark, and disappears. But otherwise this comment doesn’t bother me. “rat” is even kind of right! That movie is aggressively precious!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Andrew, don’t interrupt!

Posted by: Matthew in response to Old Videos Explaining How To Use An Internet That No Longer Exists Will Never Not Be Funny

[Ed. note: as I mentioned, you guys were DRUMLINING this week. The Tom Cruise thread is a legend among threads. I also liked when you guys explained your Commenter Names’ meanings and origins. Fun! I chose this comment because I think that Matthew has unwittingly created my favorite new inside joke. Because from now on I am definitely responding to trolls with “Andrew, don’t interrupt!” Lots of Love.]