Videogum’s Teen Korner: Werewolves Are The New Vampires Are The Cutest!

Gettin’ Jiggy with it!

OMG, u guyz. There should be some kind of SEXTING shorthand for the feeling you get when you realize that all of these years of being crazy in love with vampires have been a mistake when really it was werewolves that you should have been in love with all along. U kno, so that u could just send a quick sext to your friends letting them all know how you’re feeling about the sitch*, without your parents ever knowing what was going on, since they wouldn’t understand anyway. All they know about is homework and Taco Night and going to bed like a couple of dead people. Bogue! Something like OMGILWNIHVTSLOLGISUATMOSR. (Oh My God I Love Werewolves Now, I Hate Vampires, They Suck, Lots Of Love, Get It? See U At The Mall On Saturday, RIIIIIITE?) Something just short and easy like that. XBOX.

You guys know what I’m talking about right? I’m talking about how this new clip from Twilight: New Moon makes me go OUT. OF. MY. MIND.

Hope you got your “License to Sew” in Home Economics this week so that you can sew your heads back on your bodies. Wasn’t that KRAZY? How the one guy was like “I’m a Photoshop werewolf,” but then Taylor Lautner was like “No, I am the Photoshop werewolf.” STOP, YOU ARE BOTH THE PHOTOSHOP WEREWOLFS OF MY HEART.

Get out of here vampires, you’re going in the garbage now. Right?

If you think that you had an orgasm while watching this, but don’t know what an orgasm is, take notes on your experience and bring it up in tomorrow’s Health Class. Your teacher will be more than happy to help you, and your fellow students probably have a lot of similar questions! The more you know. (Thanks for the tip, Detroit Dutchgirl.)

*That’s teen for “situation,” but you already know that. POP A WHEELIE!