Videogum

Oh Hell No, There Are More?!?

Remember the California Raisin Facepaint guy from ancient earlier this afternoon? Of course you remember him, because you date him, and he is your boyfriend, and one day maybe he will put a ring on that finger. But it turns out that he has TONS of these videos, featuring all variety of TERRIFYING face inventions. You knew that, obviously, since it’s his private passion, and it was one of those quirks you had to get used to early in the relationship. “We each have our sides of the bed. He goes straight for the Sports section and I read the Sunday Styles. And of course there is the horrific use of creative face paint for living nightmare YouTube videos recorded in the basement.” Love = compromise.

But for the rest of us, this is news. Terrible, upsetting, eye-breaking news. So many videos. Something for everyone, really. To run away from. In mortal terror.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it times infinity.

I know as well as anyone that we all deserve to find something in this world that makes us happy, but does that something have to come at the expense of everyone else’s eyes and ability to sleep at night without waking in panic sweats to the sound of one’s own screams? No. I’m just saying that YouTube has a “set to private” function that far too many people overlook.