Pro-Tip: Newscasters, Use Your “Fucks” Wisely

As any professional newscaster will tell you, you can’t just say “fuck” on the air. That may be hard for civilians like you or I to believe, but it’s a little trick you pick up pretty quickly when you’re in the newz biz. “I thought you could say ‘fuck’ on the air whenever you felt like it.” “Drink up, rookie.” The only people with the confidence and the poise to get away with it are the battle-scarred veterans, the Sue Simmonses. It’s an issue of gravitas! It’s also an issue of knowing when and how to say “fuck” on the air. You probably only get one, newscaster, so make it count. It is equally important to have your “fuck” make sense. That may seem obvious, but you might be surprised. Here is an example of what NOT to do:

Don’t tell someone to “keep fucking that chicken” on the air, because it makes no sense. I cannot stress this enough, newscasters: use your fucks wisely! (Via TheDailyWhat.)