Videogum

Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Hey you guys, so here’s a thing: do you know how computers work? I don’t. What do I look like? Some nerd with my head in the toilet? No way. But I guess there are these things called IP Addresses (my great-grandson just told me about them, he says they are “chill”) and they identify your computer. Who cares. This is all doctor talk on Bored Mountain, but it does mean one thing: when you set up multiple commenter accounts, WE KNOW ABOUT IT! And it is the worst. It’s one thing to do your insufferable performance art (as if there is any other kind of performance art) under one consistent make-believe username, but when you create multiple make-believe usernames and have weird Fight Club arguments with yourself in the comments, we consider that a breach of the terms and conditions. And we will delete all your comments. And then where will you be? Well, you will still be in your parents’ basement. But where else? That’s right, in Sad Town, where you just got elected mayor. I am looking at you Josh “Weezy” Collins (or should I say Lauri?). I am ALMOST looking at you Da Cake Eatur (who admittedly did not register a new account but simply changed his username which is BARELY within the rules). Just don’t do this, you guys. You can say whatever you want about how much you hate me and how much you wish this was a Seth MacFarlane fansite dedicated to people (like you) who have horrible taste, but be yourself. Or the singular make-believe instance that most closely resembles yourself.

In other news, I am getting a head-start on the long holiday weekend. So, here we are again already. After the jump, the week’s five highest rated comments, the lowest rated comment, and the editor’s choice. C U next Tuesday.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5

Schindler’s Spreadsheet

Posted by: Mabuk in response to Best New Party Game 7
Score = 61

#4

First time Jon Gosselin has pulled out of anything.

Posted by: eric in response to
America’s Nightmare Narrowly Avoided

Score = 64

#2

Keyboard Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Posted by: jar krenshaw in response to Best New Party Game 7
Score = 87

#1

Totes Recall

Posted by: Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up in response to Best New Party Game 7
Score = 91

[Ed. note: three out of five of this week’s top five comments were Best New Party Game entries, which is nice. Just pure, classically constructed jokes this time around. Who doesn’t love to laugh? Jerks, that is who.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

I have no recollection of ever seeing (nor wanting to see) this film. I have heard about it, and every time a girl is mean in a movie, HEATHERS springs forth from the reviewer’s lips (or Pen. or fingertips) and blah blah blah

Fuckoff

Sick of hearing about this horrible remake shit that fucktards jacked up on coke and caffeine deem important enough for tv. Woo. Thanks for the Tip of my Penis Amanda.

Posted by: DS3M in response to What’s Your Damage, Hollywood?
Score = -37

[Ed. note: Oof. It’s weird, because I think most of us probably agree with his point, which is that we don’t like the idea of a Heathers remake, and just in general we wish that there were fewer remakes and more original content being produced. But what is with the language? Relax, Christopher Moltisanti. You’re not on the Cleaver panel at Comic-Con. And do you really need to bring Amanda into this? She was doing a nice thing, and you had to be a gross asshole about it.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

i wonder what bella reaction would b if she is making out with the jacob and a flea jumps in her hair he;d proably be like i wonder were that came from!

Posted by: tala in response to
Videogum’s Teen Korner: Face-Melting New Stills From Twilight: New Moon

[Ed. note: hahahahah! You guys really DRUMLINE with your comments each week, and that is what makes Videogum one of the smartest, funniest, and most interesting commenting communities on the Internet. You guys know that, relax. But this comment provides a powerful reminder that no matter how crazy and funny you try to be, nothing will be crazier and funnier than a half-literate 12-year-old who only has 30 seconds to finish typing out their incomplete “thought” before their mom comes into the room and takes computer privileges away. PAH!]