The CEO Of Hasbro Is REALLY Excited About Awful Board Game Movies

Collider, a film website, recently interviewed Brian Goldner, the CEO of Hasbro, and the man behind movie adaptations of popular board games like Candy Land, and Monopoly (that’s right, movie adaptations of popular board games like CANDY LAND, and MONOPOLY!). Well, it turns out that he really believes that these awful sounding movies are going to be good. Really good, even. I guess that makes sense. But these quotes are still funny:

‘Candy Land’ is not just about the board game. If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board.

Haha. Sure! I mean, no one actually thought that you were just going to make a movie about people actually sitting around PLAYING Candy Land, Brian Goldner. Show some respect. But I can’t wait to take an adventure with a kid and his parents across a board game. Sounds good!

There are more of these things:

‘Monopoly’ has this wonderful history. If you’ll remember, “Monopoly” was literally invented at The Depression, so that idea, this fiction that’s really there, this non-fiction fiction that’s really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families.

It was literally invented at The Depression. As opposed to all those board games that were figuratively invented at The Depression (also, “at”? Also non-fiction fiction? Boom goes the mindamite). So you’re going to bring this history, which is wonderful, to life with a story about families? In The Depression? If Monopoly: The Movie is set during the Depression, that will be amazing, and I am not joking when I say that. I’m not. Head blown.

Oh, I’m not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it’s everything you could imagine in a “Battleship” movie. It’s really a phenomenal idea.

I BET! Coy. Brian Goldner put his pinkie finger to the corner of his mouth when he said this one. SO NAUGHTY.

Did you know that Brian Goldner is also developing movies about Stretch Armstrong and also the Oujia Board? I figured he would have told you about those. In bed. When you guys were doing it. Boyfriend and girl/boyfriend (I don’t know you). (Collider via FilmDrunk.)