Hey Hollywood, Now That Killbots Are REAL, How About Releasing Chopping Mall On DVD?

A robot that zoomed along through the hallways of a modern shopping mall used to just be the stuff of FANTASY and LEGEND. “It will never happen,” the politicians and naysayers used to say (and naysay?). Well guess what, politicians and naysayers. It did ever happen. The future is here. Well, not here exactly, but the future is in Japan.

Did you know that in Japan they have heated toilets? HEATED TOILETS! But that is beside the point. The point is that what if lightning strikes the shopping mall one night? And a surge of electricity shuts down the central computer? You know, the central computer that CONTROLS ALL THE ROBOTS? What then?

I will tell you what then:

They will become KILLBOTS, duh. And then you will have roving packs of KILLBOTS, all over the mall!

For years it has been ridiculous that Chopping Mall was not available on DVD, but now it is actually a NATIONAL SECURITY ISSUE. We need to know how to defend ourselves against the machines. Obviously, hiding out in the Mattress Store won’t save us!

Chopping Mall DVD Graduate!

Waitress, more butter! (Japanese Mall Robot video via TrendHunter.)

UPDATE: Apparently Chopping Mall is already available on DVD. Whoops! Well, good news! We can all sleep A LITTLE EASIER now. Either at home, or in the Mattress Store.