Kids Drink Gasoline To Become A Transformer The Darndest Things

This is ugh log10 to the YIKES power. From Shanghai Daily:

A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.

After the boy, in Yibin City, southwest Sichuan Province, had watched the animated TV series, he began to drink gasoline to become a “valiant fighter” like “Optimus Prime,” his father told the newspaper.

“He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel,” he said.

The boy’s mother owned a grocery stall, selling small goods such as lighters.

I can’t believe I have to say this, but don’t drink gasoline, you guys. It will not turn you into a brave shape-shifting robot from the mythic shape-shifting robot-lion stories. The absolute worst part about this whole thing is that he “began” to drink gasoline five years ago. Began? How about he began to drink and then immediately stopped drinking gasoline five years ago, as soon as someone who was an adult, his parents or just any adult, found out he was drinking gasoline and made him stop drinking gasoline because COME ON, EVERYONE.

What’s weird is that the Transformers don’t actually drink gasoline, do they? I don’t know. Maybe they do. Does anyone around here have a PhD in Transformers Studies who knows what the fuck goes on with Transformers? That stuff is complicated. It is literally a-waffle-iron-that-turns-into-a-rocket science.