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Bridget Jones Diary 3: Fat Throttle

Looks like Renee Zellweger has figured out how to use a chest of drawers. She’s back! From People:

Zellweger, 40, is expected to start filming at the end of this year what will be the third installment about the love-starved British publishing executive, Variety reports.

This time, the story will likely focus on 40-ish Bridget’s desire to have a baby before time runs out, as based on author Helen Fielding’s weekly newspaper columns for Britain’s The Independent, says the showbiz trade publication.

Sure. Women be shoppin’. FOR BABIIIIIIES. But come on, team. Let’s not play games. What is this movie really about?

Haul out the biscuits and gravy, crispy duck, Snickers, milk shakes, pizza and butter-soaked potatoes – Renée Zellweger’s very special diet to get in shape to play Bridget Jones, because the Oscar winner is prepping to play the full-figured singleton once again.

Yes, that is what I thought. This movie is about Renee Zellweger being fat. I’m not even sure why they keep wasting our time with these storylines about love triangles and Thai prisons (not that I would know, I am a man, I’ve never even seen any of these movies) when they should just have a camera trained on Renee Zellweger’s fat face as she stuffs it. That’s what everyone wants to see. “One adult for Renee Zellweger Demolishes All The Cheeseburgers: A Documentary, please.” Fandango.