The Orphan Poster Needs More Taglines!

Entertainment Weekly points out that there are kind of a lot of taglines on the Orphan poster. It’s true! Usually a poster only has one tagline, something catchy and half-clever to give you the vaguest sense of what the movie is about and to entice you to see the movie. But this thing is all over the place. There is something wrong with Esther. Yes. Like, you mean that her face was Photoshopped by someone taking a night course in Photoshop at the local technical institute’s Graphic Arts program? But also can I keep a secret? Like the secret about her Photoshop face? Is the secret that something is wrong with her? Because that’s not a secret. You just told us that. Is the movie about how Esther is really bad at keeping secrets? There is something wrong with Esther’s ability to keep secrets, so can you do it?

As far as I’m concerned, though, this poster doesn’t have ENOUGH taglines. Waitress, more taglines please!


P.S. There is a possible real SPOILER ALERT here of what the wrong thing about Esther is that you need to keep secret, and DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT THIS POSSIBLY REAL SPOILER ALERT IS HILARIOUS. OK, if you’re still reading: it is hilarious.