Heidi Montag’s Music Is The New Bloody Gums

I think it’s happening, you guys. The terribleness of Heidi Montag’s “music” has gone from virtually unbearable to somehow…pleasurable. It’s not that the music has gotten any better. It still sounds like a drunken karaoke singer with terrible taste in songs being fed to a mean computer.

But the experience of listening to it has shifted. Because we’re all in on the joke now, right? Even she has to be in on it at this point. Has she ever heard music before? They should have midnight screenings of her songs is what I’m saying. When I was little, I used to get raw gums from brushing too hard, and it would sting to brush them more because of the raw gums, but wherever the gums were rawest is actually where I would brush the hardest, and I would spit out more blood than toothpaste into the sink. I am sure this is a completely normal period in childhood development that every single person goes through, so it’s not even weird at all. Just kids stuff. But this is the new that. Listening to Heidi Montag is the new weird pleasure through mild pain.

At least for this one song. It’s called “Sex Ed” and it’s awful. I love it.