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An Open Letter To Dr. Drew

Dear Dr. Drew,

Please stop helping! You’re helping too much!

I read this morning that not only has your show Celebrity Rehab, in which you so generously exploit help semi-famous, fully-embarrassed people in their most desperate hour of need out of nothing but the narcissism goodness of your heart, and your dedication to being constantly on TV at any cost the most helpful, been picked up for a third season, but that you are also getting a new, even more exploitative and self-serving super-helpful show, Sex Rehab. From Reuters:

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – VH1 has ordered eight episodes of “Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew,” a series where the addiction-medicine specialist treats a group with sex compulsion issues.

In “Sex Rehab,” Dr. Drew Pinsky will treat a group in Los Angeles and try to shed light on misconceptions about the issue. Eight one-hour episodes have been ordered, and the show will premiere this fall.

You are going to try to shed light on misconceptions about the issue? Well, there are a lot of them!

Many people don’t believe that sex addiction exists, and in some ways it can be even more intimately personal and self-destructive than many drug addictions. Put those people on TV, right?! That will help them! Show the world their private shame! At the very least, Dr. Drew, even if you don’t manage to shed light on the misconceptions, this is a show on VH1 after-all, and even if you don’t manage to actually help anyone, because your help is so powerful that it never seems to work, you’ll still get some sweet, precious air time. Better shine up that face and tone those arms!

LOOKING GOOD, DR. DREW.

In fact, you look so good, you should hang out with your friends and do push ups and crunches all day long. Polish that face until the bone shows through. You guys can get together in the locker-room after and compare deltoid routines and trade hair frosting tips and protein bar preferences. Helpful! If you do that enough, maybe you won’t have any more time to so crassly pretend like you’re a doctor on TV to fulfill your own narcissistic need for attention that is constantly being amplified yet unsatisfied by a life in Hollywood surrounded by people who are actually famous to the detriment of everyone with whom you come in contact, as well as a disgrace to the medical profession, and a dangerous voice of misplaced authority to your viewers. Viewers, Dr. Drew, not fans.

Please stop “helping” people. You are “the worst.”

Sincerely,
Lindsay Robertson