That’s Not Your Girlfriend: Susan Boyle

A frumpy, virginal, somewhat hammy 47-year-old cat lady from Bathgate, West Lothian in Scotland performed on Britain’s Got Talent this weekend, and for a really long time it looked like she was definitely your girlfriend. Everyone was like “haha, look at her, what a your girlfriend.” Simon Cowell rolled his eyes so hard, and was like “here we go again, another your girlfriend.” But then this really weird thing happened, which is that she fucking killed it on the song (“I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Mis, obvs). Suddenly everyone was reminded that TV isn’t just about finding lonely weirdos and laughing at them, and that sometimes truly talented people can be hamstrung by social anxiety or any other number of psychological road blocks that keep them from being recognized. Suddenly everyone was reminded that this is not your girlfriend at all, that she doesn’t want to date you and has completely refuted every advance. Even Simon Cowell had to open his mouth wide into what he was told was a “smile,” showing off his perfect “teeth” (£2,500 each) at the pleasant surprise of being unable to unleash his trademark venomous snark on which he has built an incredibly successful career. Susan Boyle, not your girlfriend, stopped him in his snake tracks.

Seriously, though, this is a really nice moment (after the jump) when an unassuming woman’s dreams basically come true right in front of everyone, and we have to stop and reconsider why we are always laughing at the Susan Boyles of the world when we don’t know. We don’t even know!

We’re gonna need a bigger :)!

Thanks for the tip, Nicholas.