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Lost: Oh Hey! It’s That Guy!

Oh man, Lost is back! After a super-weak episode two weeks ago, like probably the weakest episode this show has ever produced, just so so weak it’s almost embarrassing, Lost is BACK! And I am DRUNK!

Obviously, Jack and Hurley and Kate are back in the 1970s. That’s why three weeks ago, there was all that talk about them disappearing from the plane before it crashed (time-shifterz), and also why the new Losties were able to set up hospital beds in a long-abandoned Dharma Initiative building. Duh. Last night Ben tried to escape back to the main island, but we knew he wasn’t going to make it because three weeks ago he was unconscious on a cot, the only question was WHEN he was going to get injured (get it?). What is UP with Sun, you guys? She’s a total monster these days. Sun Monster. Admittedly, I would be a monster, too, if I was trapped in the present while my husband was back in the ’70s. Oh no, TIME-CROSSED LOVERZ!

This week we also learned that Sayid has time-shifted. The island is such a tease! In any case, he goes to Dharma jail, because the island never gives you more than you can handle, and we know that Sayid can handle jail. This leads to an epic power struggle between Jack and Sawyer because some things never change. But some things do change! Sawyer lives with Juliette! But Sawyer is still in love with Kate! Well guess what, it’s the ’70s, so just have a key party and relax. At least you’re not stuck in the present like Sun.

This guy, though, so suspicious of the whole thing!

Not having it. Something weird is going on and this guy doesn’t like it.

But the best part for the superfans, and by superfans I really only mean people who have watched this show since the beginning and like it, I’m not talking about actual superfans, who keep Trapper Keepers filled with notes and have a day-glo map of the island’s various Dharma stations drawn in fluorescent chalk on their wall only visible by black light (CALL BACK!). Not those superfans. Just fans, I guess. Sorry to insult you, superfans, by referring to the rest of us as superfans. But hey! Look! It’s that guy!

Oh man, that guy. Love that guy. Makin’ copies!

But, wait, you guys, how spooky was the main island when Frank and Sun showed up looking for Jin?

What is this, The Strangers? TOO SPOOKY! I haven’t seen The Strangers, because I hate that shit, but I assume it’s a lot of doors creaking open, and mystical reborn island father ghost Gods standing silhouetted against the lamp light. In floppy sack masks.