Whoever Writes The DVR Descriptions For FEARnet Is A Straight Genius, Son

The shortest short story in existence is widely recognized to be one written by the Guatemalen writer Augusto Monterroso (RIP, Never Forget). It reads:

“Upon waking, the dinosaur was still there.”

Fair enough. Monterroso is in heaven now, regaling the angels with the shortest anecdotes. But whoever is writing the FEARnet DVR descriptions of horror movies is also a master of short form writing, and should win some kind of award for being the best. These things are nuts. Six more after the jump. Each one better than the last (as if there’s anything better than perfect). Have fun!

This one is my favorite.

Incredible. Whoever writes these is a total champion.

I wish the guy who wrote the FEARnet DVR descriptions was my dad. (Thanks for the tip, Rebecca.)

Previously: SPOILER ALERT: This Is Hilarious