Seriously, Though, Nestor Carbonell Wears Eyeliner

Last night I watched The Dark Knight again. I forgot that Richard Alpert was in it. He plays the mayor of Gotham City. He also plays the Commissioner of the Gotham City Eyeliner Task Force. Dude should work as an Avril Lavigne eye-double. Apparently, he did an interview this week that’s been making the rounds in which this very subject is brought up. (Via SciFi Wire via Paul Scheer.)

At the TV Critics Association press tour, some reporters asked if you wore eyeliner, which Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse denied. What do you think of this?

Carbonell: My brother sent me this link about the TCA, where you guys were at. Someone had asked about whether I was wearing eyeliner. I think Carlton came to my defense, and he said, “He’s 100 percent sans makeup” or something like that. I could see why some people would think I have eyeliner on because [my eyelashes] are dark. Especially the bottom row, they’re pretty dark. I’ve been dealing with it since I was a little kid, and so to me it’s very funny when it comes up, especially at TCA. My brother told me to look online and sort of Google something about that, and my name came up as a couple things. One of them was Maybelline Man. I’ve been dubbed by some people as Guyliner. It’s very amusing.

Hmmm, OK. But let’s look at the facts.

FACT ONE: your eyes.

There. We have presented all of the facts. I’m not calling Nestor Carbonell a liar. If he says that he does not wear eyeliner, then I believe that he does not wear eyeliner. But not wearing eyeliner doesn’t mean that you don’t have eyeliner permanently tattooed under your eyes. Semantics. Mystery solved. No regrets. Me and Encyclopedia Brown are going out for root beers later if you want to join us.