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Well, “Abortionhorny” Is A Word Now

New York Press film critic Armond White did a rundown of 2008’s best “better-than” movies, whatever the FUCK that means. Take it easy, Armond White. Not everything has to be a post-structuralist I-went-to-grad-school nightmare. But anyway, the list is a comparative analysis of the year in cinema. Fair enough. Except, um, I really feel like an intelligent and thoughtful film critic should probably be able to write a 25-word film synopsis without having to create entirely new and incredibly insane neologisms.

Happy Go Lucky BETTER THAN 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days Mike Leigh devises a thoroughly humane heroine (Sally Hawkins) whose anti-capitalist faith (deeper than bourgeois “feminism”) upbraids the pity-party of two abortionhorny Romanian co-eds.

HAHAHHAHA. What? That would be the worst paragraph ever written if it weren’t for “abortionhorny,” but now it’s just the nutsest (most nuts) paragraph ever written. What does “abortionhorny” even mean? Isn’t the point of making up a new word to clearly and concisely express something that would normally take an entire sentence or paragraph to explain? Yes, that is the point. But now I need, like, an entire book to explain what “abortionhorny” is. Shut up, Armond White.

Thanks for the tip, Gabe.