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These Guys Could Sell Water To A Drowning Man If He Was Deaf, And Rich, And Stupid

(via Things They Should Invent)

Don Draper is an old man and needs to get out of the game.

Obviously, I recognize that this is fake rap, and I want there to be no confusion: the dedicated campaign to eradicate fake rap continues APACE in ’09. But the thing that makes fake rap so abysmal is the tendency among fake rappers to assume that all you have to do to rap is make silly rhymes and move your hands around. It’s insulting and probably a little bit racist (“that music what’s just people talking”), and that is why it has to go. But that’s not what’s happening here. Sure, they’re making silly rhymes, and some of them even move their hands around (Gary Ballard!) but this is something different. No one here is under the impression that they’re actually rapping. I’m pretty sure three-quarters of the people in this video don’t even understand the words they’re saying. And I’m absolutely positive that four-quarters of them are your boyfriend.