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Jay-Z Makes His Own Brand Of Axe Bodyspray

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about beautiful, sophisticated women, it’s that they love rolling around in the bed with dirty laundry to pass the time. They just check the voicemail messages on their LAND LINE ANSWERING MACHINE real quick and then it’s DIRTY LAUNDRY PARTY. She fell right asleep after that because he told her not to wait up. Done. Asleep by 6. Perfect. “Rule 100, condescendingly remind her of the importance of a good night’s sleep.”

Also, whoops, Jay-Z, you spelled your perfume 9IX! That’s how an asshole would do it!