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Who Should Star In The Christian The Lion Movie?

MSNBC reports that Sony is attempting to purchase the rights to everyone’s favorite lion hug video and turn it into a feature length viral video.

Sony Pictures aims to bring the story of Christian and the two men, John Rendall and Anthony “Ace” Bourke, to the big screen.

The studio is in the process of securing the life-story rights of Rendall and Bourke and their 1972 book, “A Lion Called Christian.”

OK! I’m already in tears! But who are you going to cast as the two “friends” who bought a lion at a department store (still kind of don’t get that part) and raised him in a churchyard and set him loose in Africa and got that incredible hug?

Probably the easiest way to do this is with a great comedy duo, a couple of actors with a proven track record of on-screen chemistry.

The Easy Money: Wilson and Stiller

They haven’t teamed up since Wilson’s unfortunate and deeply personal hospitalization, and this would be the perfect project. They both have a rakish, lovable air to them and you could totally see them being “friends” and buying a lion and running with that lion and hugging that lion. Although Stiller would probably include a scene where he got cum in its mane.

The Broad Money: Sandler and Schneider

Ew. Just kidding. No.

The Youthful Money: Rogen and Franco

The kids love these guys, and the kids love LION HUGS. Christian the Lion is pretty family-friendly stuff, though, so they’d probably have to get rid of most of the inevitable “getting the lion high while we play X Box” and “making jokes about lion boners while we’re high and playing X Box” scenes.

The Smart Money: Gervais and Merchant

Obviously this movie should star Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant because if you combined the two of them with the world’s cutest thing it would create an entertainment of such densely packed matter that it would suck all other entertainment inside of it and entertainment would implode.

Perfect. I just nailed it. The entire casting agent industry has just been fired. And here’s the Christian the Lion video again because why wouldn’t you want to see it?

You know what, skip all this casting nonsense and let’s just watch this for an hour and a half. The cutest.