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Who Is Mad That Jackie Chan Wasn’t In The Olympics More?

Apparently Jackie Chan participated in the opening and closing ceremonies at the Olympics, singing in a choir. But in case you were wondering whether or not he was upset about the role that he played, he’s not upset. From the AP:

HONG KONG – Action movie star Jackie Chan said Wednesday he was not upset about his small role in the Beijing Olympics’ opening and closing ceremonies because he was happy to play any part in promoting the games.

Um, what? I’m still not even sure what he was doing at the Olympics in the first place, but what would his larger role have entailed? After the jump, I have tried to imagine how someone who is upset that Jackie Chan didn’t play a larger role in the Olympics must be feeling.

DEAR OLYMPICS,

THIS IS BULLSHIT JACKIE CHAN WASN’T EVEN BARELY IN THE OLYPICS AND HE IS BEST GUY AT THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE MAKE HIM PRESDINET OF OLYMPICS AND HE COULD FLY OVER EVERYONE WITH HIS KICKS AND KICK THEM IN THE FACE. NAME ME ONE SPORT THAT JACKIE CHAN ISN’T THE CHAMPION AND PRESIDENT OF JUST ONE NAME ME ONE NAME ME ONE SPORT? SWIMMING? JACKIE CHAN KARATE CHOPS SPINNING INTO A MILLION PIECES. WEIGHTS? JACKIE CHAN CAN JUMP TEN FEET INTO THE AIR AND BENCH PRESS A BILLION POUNDS WHILE DOING A BACKFLIP AND KARATE CHOPPING WEIGHTS IN THE FACE. I JUST REALLY THINK THIS IS BULLSHIT AND I AM CANCELING MY SUBSCRIPTION TO OLYMPICS.

SINCERELY,
RUSH HOUR 69