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How Funny Is Pineapple Express Really Going To Be?

Six clips from Pineapple Express have leaked onto the internet. That’s what it’s called when a company provides a website with exclusive material in order to promote their project and make millions of dollars, right? Leaked? Marketing is so sneaky. You can watch them over at Collider. Pineapple Express, of course, is the HIGHly-anticipated (hold on, the Academy of Puns just called, I think I’m getting KnHIGHted.) pot comedy starring Seth Rogen and James Franco as two would-be heroes on the run from that guy who kind of looks like Willem Dafoe crossed with James Spader. The clips vary between kind of funny and pretty funny, so that’s a good sign, but just how funny is this movie really going to be?

Let’s make up an arbitrary scale that goes from Norbit, or not at all funny, ever, to This Is Spinal Tap, or very, very funny always. And then let’s see where we’re at.

As Funny as Norbit?
Oh, funnier. The only thing less funny than someone dressing up in a fat suit and making fart jokes is someone dressing up in a bunch of different fat suits and making multiple fart jokes. So the only thing less funny than Norbit is the Nutty Professor.

As Funny as Space Balls?
Funnier. This is kind of like comparing apples and Space Balls, but at the end of the day I like my comedy with some reality to it. Also Mel Brooks is kind of annoying, and by “kind of” I mean “very.” He’s like the Weird Al Yankovich of film, except that I begrudgingly respect Weird Al for just doing what he does. Wait, Mel Brooks is less talented than Weird Al? Well, I just wrote that so it’s definitely true forever.

As Funny as Old School?
As funny. Which is a good thing. I was really hesitant to see Old School when it came out because for as much as I avoid pot comedies for their self-congratulatory glorification of a pre-literate drug culture, I equally avoid the beer can to the forehead, tit-ogling frat boy comedy that I totally anticipated Old School to be. Which I guess it was, but it worked. It was great. Loved it. Good job. Let’s just be ourselves and enjoy what we enjoy.

As Funny as This Is Spinal Tap?
Not as funny. It’s too limited by its stoner ethos, and I don’t really think that Seth Rogen or James Franco are at Christopher Guest levels of talent. Maybe one day, who knows. Also, for as much as we’re all enjoying the use of “Paper Planes” in the trailer, because it’s the best song, that is not going to be the best song forever. These things fade with time. It’s like that old saying, “time heals all wounds and also makes M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” not sound as good later when you’re bored of it.”

So, Pineapple Express will be this year’s Old School. This is a professional, official opinion and a very real ranking that exists, so you should totally not question it. Science has spoken.