The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Round Two

Everyone makes mistakes. The problem with mine is that there’s no abortion for internet memes. (EDGY STUFF!) Anyway, next week’s entry in the Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time, Johnny Mnemonic, will close out our Round One entrants. It’s already been such an emotional roller-coaster, from the highs of wanting to kill myself to the lows of not having the will to move from the couch in order to kill myself. But, you guys, we’ve got to figure out what I’m going to be forced to watch in Round Two.

So far, I think we’re looking at:

  • Wicker Man
  • Zardoz
  • Crash (2004)
  • K-Pax
  • Hudson Hawk
  • Mr. Brooks
  • The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Lindsay and I are leaving early today to attend a friend’s wedding. He’s a fellow blogger, so we’re simply going to JACK into the NET and become PURE ENERGY. I don’t know what Lindsay got the happy couple, but I got them a TERABYTE. I don’t even know what that means. But the point is you’ve got all weekend, starting early this afternoon, to come up with some final nominations to make Round Two the most painful of rounds. As always, the rules:

  1. It cannot be intentionally horrible.
  2. It must have at least one A- or B-list movie star in it. (no “outsider art.”)
  3. It cannot be Glitter.
  4. It has to have had a theatrical release.
  5. No matter how bad the movie, it cannot be based on a popular superhero.
  6. Gabe is the boss.

As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. This is like Subservient Chicken, except you can only type in one action: “be miserable.”