Grand Theft Zebra: God Town

Since many of you might not be interested in playing Grand Theft Auto IV, recognizing that violence against women and the glorification of dangerous criminal activity is not the type of energy you need vibrating your chakra (or whatever, I’m not a scientist) I’d like to offer the gamers out there an alternative. Zoo Race is just as expansive and engrossing as GTA, but instead of stealing cars and driving them through a simulacrum of New York, you race animals from the zoo in a tribute to God.

I’m happy to report that you can still have sex with strippers in Zoo Race, you just can’t shoot them in the face afterwards. Instead, you can race them to heaven (after they die of sadness).